Telling people

I am terrified of telling people about this new great thing in my life. I wasn't even sure I wanted to tell Dwayne until at least after the blood test, but then again he is very much involved and if there was disappointment I didn't want to face it alone. So I told him after the fourth home pregnancy test. I am just so scared that it will go wrong. It happened so very easily - and easy come, easy go...

On Friday night I went out with two girlfriends. One is getting married in January and we spent the evening watching her get her trial hair and makeup for the wedding. The other one is my best friend on the whole continent, Andrea. Afterwards we went for dinner in Kings Cross. I think it was supposed to be a hen night style evening similar to my own hair and makeup trial day back in March. That night we went out all night and got unreasonably drunk and danced until the early morning hours, but this evening I went home straight after dinner. I was sitting there, 80% sure I was pregnant, sipping painfully slowly on half a glass of Champagne as not to cause suspicion. I told the girls I wasn't feeling too well, and blamed the cold sore on my chin saying that I was definitely fighting off some nasty cold. All the while I was biting my tongue not to drag Andrea to one side to tell her the real reason.

Dwayne and I had agreed not to tell a living soul until the time was right. Not until we were far enough into the pregnancy to be sure it would stick. But yesterday (Saturday 3rd November) Andrea texted me to ask if I was feeling any better, and we decided to call her up and tell her everything. It was so GREAT to share the secret with someone who really cares! And Dwayne and Andrea work together, so now poor Dwayne also has one person he can babble his heart out to.

We have adjusted the telling people rule to after the scan. Once the scan is done on Tuesday I will feel much more confident, and then we will tell our parents and families. Not all friends and acquaintances yet, only our very closest people. Actually, my sister Lena and her family are visiting in Australia at the moment but flew off to Cairns for a week last Wednesday, one day before the first pregnancy test. Basically, they left after having shared a bottle of wine with me over dinner and they are coming back to these surprising news. Lena - when you read this in the near future, know that it was completely BIZARRE to speak to you on the phone whilst you were in Cairns, knowing this HUGE secret and pretending like nothing was up. I cannot wait to tell you on Wednesday evening!